Friday, May 1, 2009

Habeas Porkus

And thus the appetite for pork products is elevated to a Constitutional right.

The judge, though he be a pig, is happy to propound a novel legal concept. Happy, did we say? He is filled with more than the pleasure of playing his role in the law's grand drama.

(He's small up there, but can you make out the details? The black robe, the gavel, the white wig long emblematic of jurisprudence in the Commonwealth?)

His Honor is practically giggling as he hands down his ruling, a ruling that amounts to a death sentence for the pigs. Why isn't he troubled at the blatant miscarriage of justice? The pigs who are sentenced are not even party to the proceedings. And yet they bear the sorest burden.

Our principal objection: the judge should have recused himself. His overweening drive to die has rendered him unfit to hear the case impartially.

It is here that we wonder why they didn't go with the name Habeas Corpse. Wouldn't that pun have been more to the point?

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